Are you looking for that perfect present for your mortal enemy? How about a passive-aggressive “thank you for wasting my time” gift for your ex? Taobao has plenty of hideous items to choose from.
For the past five years, this online shopping platform (owned by Alibaba) has held a “Taobao Ugly Stuff Contest” to showcase the top 40 most unaesthetic and nightmarish items available. Here are # of those items, ranked on a scale of “kind of weird” to “my eyes need a bleach bath.”
15. You are what you sleep in
If someone in your life needs a wake-up call, consider adding this sleeping bag to your cart.
14. What have you done to that dog?
With the power of custom pillows, you can transform your pet, kid, or best friend into a cozy abomination.
13. Not quite edible bedding
Compared to some of the other items on this list, this cabbage bedding really isn’t that bad. After all, it gives buyers the opportunity to bring that “Right in front of my salad?” meme to life. On the other hand, if you drop your phone, you might never find it in all those ruffles.
12. Crocs, but uglier
Level up your Crocs (and make trypophobics suffer) with these obnoxious Swiss cheese boots.
11. These aren’t the worst shoes on this list, but we’re getting there.
Zero comfort. Zero style. But if red is your favorite color, go for it?
10. This purple pineapple bag
Why not frighten everyone you meet with a purple fruit that stares straight into their souls?
9. A toy for your least favorite child
This brightly colored dragon toy with an uncomfortably human expression might be mentioned in therapy sessions one day.
8. Are those browning bananas or awkward birds?
Yes. They’re also less-than-functional coin purses.
7. Get the end results without going through the process.
The print on this sheer top mimics the red marks people get from cupping therapy. Cupping therapy relieves pain. This shirt causes it.
6. Hatsune Miku, but make her terrifying
If you’re a bank robber who also loves anime, this ski mask is for you.
5. This urchin hat
Attention ocean enthusiasts and introverts! This urchin hat screams, “Don’t you dare enter my personal space!”
4. How about cockroach fingernail extensions?
How about no?
3. A perfectly normal incense holder
This is for the person you know who has a stick up their…
2. Someone took “horseshoes” literally.
Seriously, what would the horses think about this? You don’t see them out there wearing people shoes.
1. Conehead
Put your makeup brushes down. Step away from the moisturizer. Beauty standards have peaked with “Pointed Man”–a play on the Chinese word for “gentleman.”
